Handling Criticism Wisely>>>morefrom In Touch MinistriesThis past Wednesday I posted a link to Dr. Charles Stanley's devotion on "Handling Criticism Unwisely", this devotion he describes how to handle criticism. Everything Dr. Stanley describes has been a work in progress for me. I have always been very sensitive because of my upbringing, how I was treated when I was young, the things I had to encounter. When I was young I thought it was cruel what I had to encounter but in fact those hurdles I endured God has made me a instrument to help others the best way I know how today.
God has taught me and continues to teach me when a conflict comes up how to not be so defensive, listen, and ask Him for guidance while in the middle of the situation at hand. He are some things I like to share with you.
- When someone is being critical...listen. This will give you time to collect your thoughts, ask the Lord for guidance because when they are trying to speak and you're trying to speak many times the situation gets escalated and both people end up saying things there will regret.
- Keep your voice down, keep it low. I have learned over the years when you speak low and slow, your thoughts are clearer, your words, your speech will come out much better and believe it our not many times it catches the other person off guard because in their minds they know your coming back at them the same way as they came at you.
- Always ask the Lord what to say. Going back to number one, I have learned that listening and allowing the other person to finish there gripe because this gives you the chance to receive guidance from our Father, it gives you and I time to chose our words very wisely because one word, the tone in our voice can make a world of difference.
- Reflect on yourself. This is a process that takes a while to master because as Dr. Stanley says, we really have to ask ourselves is there truth to what this person is saying to me. I have come to realize that when I am truly honest with myself I am less defensive when I am being criticized.
- Stick to the subject at hand. This is one of my biggest, BIGGEST pet peeves. I don't know how many times when in a debate, receiving criticism or being critical how people either try to blame someone else, give an excuse why they did it...if I am wrong I am wrong, period.
- Give them your undivided attention no matter how big or small the problem may be. Sometimes it's hard to do because let's face it, sometimes someone critical on a constant basis is...well...petty. But it's big to them and it's important to them to voice their opinion.
Now going back to what I said Wednesday, this does not mean that the person is always right and it does not mean that we suppose to be doormats, let me make that clear. If they are talking to you in a very disrespectful way, wait until they have aired their gripe, pull them to the side and let them know you understand they're upset and you appreciate what they have said but that does NOT give them the right to speak down to you, talk to you like child, or use profanity toward you. One thing I have learned over the years about myself, by me being God's child, I am royalty and that means I will treat people with the utmost respect and I will receive respect as well. By allowing myself to be used by God I have learned I can work with someone that I know I will never be friends with, get invited over to their home for a "get together" (I'm being real here because we work with some people we do not care for and we know they do not like us) and I have had to come out and say to someone, "I know we do not get along, we do not have talk with one another, but I can work with you because this is a business and I will only come to you when it's work related and I will respect you as a person and I expect the same courtesy". Because the bottom is we are human, we are going to make mistakes, we are never going to please everybody we come into contact with at work, on the street or even in our home. We have to learn how to receive criticism, give criticism in a constructive way because that is how we learn.Be Blessed, Be Safe, & have great weekend. DarrenKeith~"Lord grant my children would learn ot be responsible, for each other should carry is own load".other devotions: Champions: Dorcas, Adjust Your Conscience, Obeying God
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Handling Criticism Unwisely>>>morefrom In Touch MinistriesDealing with a critical person is not easy, when someone at work, at school or in home just does it just because. What do you do? Coming up I was very sensitive...okay I was a cry baby. In my entry from this past Saturday I felt I was not loved, not wanted, desired. Some of it was people being cruel, some of it was brought on by myself, I felt I could do nothing right. But my what a difference growing up makes...
My Lord has taught me that no matter what, people are going to be people. I used to hear all the time that 'you can not control what people think of you, but you can control what you think of yourself'; and it's true. It took me years to come to that conclusion because when you didn't receive that encouragement coming up as a child it takes you a little longer to realize that God made us for His purpose, not to be a 'people pleaser'. Now that I know Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and what He had to endure, what the apostle Paul had to endure, many Christians before you and I had to live through I can keep going.
Now this does not mean you and I are doormats for anyone. What I do now is first and foremost look inward to see is there something I could have done different, better; could I have worked the problem or the situation a little different. Once I go through those step and I am truly honest with myself and the criticism still persists I pull them to the side and ask them what's the problem. I don't raise my voice, I do not get disrespectful with them...I just want to know because many times it's their problem not yours.
I have learned over the years that many people are not happy with themselves and just your presence makes them angry because of the peace you have within. Some people are not going to like you 'just because', plain and simple.
Some criticism is needed when you and I know we are not doing our best and some people have our best interest at heart, we have to learn how to deal with constructive criticism; and some people may have a legitimate reason to criticize but do not have 'people skills' but then there are people that criticize just because they can and that is when we have to call on our Lord and Savior to give us the right way to respond. We are all human and some days are better than others when dealing with critical people. Read this passage before going to bed and before leaving the home for work/school...
**Ephesians 6:10-17(Amplified Bible)
The Armor of God
10In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides].
11Put on God's whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil.
12For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.
13Therefore put on God's complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place].
14Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God,
15And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the [a]firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness [b]produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace.(B)
16Lift up over all the [covering] shield of [c]saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one].
17And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit [d]wields, which is the Word of God.
This reminds you and I at all times, we can't help what people think of us but it helps you and I prepare for battle on a daily basis.
Have a Blessed, Safe and Peaceful day.
"Lord, teach my children to persevere in all they do, and help them run with perseverance the race set before them".
other devotions for today: Whatever the Circumstances, Sin and Suffering, God Put You In My Way
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