Why Does God Allow Trials?>>>more
from In Touch Ministries
This devotion digs deeper into why our Lord and Savior have you and I, Christians and non-Christians to suffer hardship and go through trials in our lives. He (God) does not get a kick out of seeing people suffer but to draw us closer to Him.
I remember when I wasn't saved and when I used to go through situations in my life and how Iwould try and bargain with God, plead to Him, cry out to Him, get angry with Him because He would allow so many things to happen to me because He did not come when I wanted Him to come. Now that I'm a Follow of Jesus Christ I know why I went through those hardships.
When growing up I stuttered really terrible...I mean terrible. I would dread when the teacher would call on me to read out loud knowing how I would do and how the children would taunt me. I was not a handsome little guy, I really never had a girlfriend while in school (I think I had a crush on some girl every other month) and this went on all the way through high school. I thought God was punishing me, I had a really low image of myself thinking how I would never find anyone. When as a child I was molested and I thought I was damaged goods. Even though I would get angry with God I know deep down that He had his hand on me, that I was someone "special".
I am a only child so many times I would be to myself and work on my humor because at the time my looks was shot to hell (or so I thought) and that would get me through. I would read many Sci-Fi books, The Hardy Boys books, Peanuts comic strips, watch old movies (Charlie Chan...I like the Sydney Toler character better than the other guy), Sherlock Holmes, The Three Stooges...those were my escape from reality at that time. Some of the programs I would watch (Monty Python, The Goodies) and the music I would listen to I would have to conceal because growing up in a small community, all African-American, you did not tell people you listened to Frank Zappa, Rush, Aerosmith, Queen, Boston, and so many other Rock groups and if you mentioned Classical or Easy Listening you were dead in the water. I use to read the album credits, what musician played on what track, who produced what song, where they recorded the album; that was important to me. I did this because it kept me going, made me feel important because when you grow up in a small community you did not talk about molestation. I never told anyone because of course as a child you think it was "your" fault.
One of the most devastating blows to me was when I used to hang out with a childhood friend. He and I was cool, his mother and family was really nice to me and I used to go to his house all the time and sometimes my mother would get upset. Now I love my mother, we have never been the closest because she has never been a person that showed affection to me, she loved me the only way she knew how because she was a single mother so this is not a knock against her.
I was headed to over to my friend's house and she just exploded. I know now what she was trying to do because sometimes you can wear out your welcome when go over to the same house every single day, and maybe if she would have broke it down to me that way I may have understood but she said is how it came out;
Mother: Why do you always go over to Doug (not his real name) house?
Me: Because that's my friend, his my best friend
Mother: People don't want you coming over to there house all the time. I know his family is
sick of you
Me: No they don't Mama
Mother: Why do you hang around Doug so much
Me: I told you Mama, he's my best friend
Mother: You two must be screwing(but she used the 'F' word) one another
I just stood there...I could not believe that they came out of her mouth. I was 12 years old at the time. Now saying this to me, knowing how I stuttered so bad I could barely get words out, how my hormones would go off the scale whenever I saw a girl, wanting a girlfriend so bad and being shot down all the time, being violated as a child would have sent some children down another path. But deep down once again I knew God had something in plan for me.
When I was in high school things did not get better. I was never in the 'in' crowd. I thought maybe if I played sports that would make me a 'babe magnet' but nope..never did. Didn't go to my Junior or Senior prom because number one...no girlfriend and number two...no car. But again I knew He had something better for me, even though I wasn't a Christian and I didn't understand His ways.
Fast forward to today. Happily married, don't stutter anymore, I have peace of mind. I know why I went through what I did now. I call it "my thorn in my side". When I see someone stutter...I have empathy, when I know someone has been molested...I have empathy (now don't get me wrong, no one and I do mean NO ONE has the right to violate a child and to use the excuse I was a victim so that's why I made someone a victim, to me that's a cop out). When someone doesn't understand computers I do not get upset because coming up I was called stupid, dumb, retarded and I wish someone would have told me when I was young that 'just because I don't get the first time that does not mean I'm stupid, the things that interest you that's what you gravitate to in your life.'
My love for music...now I get to share with the world and not feel ashamed of the artists I listened to growing up as a child. I can say this now, Thank you Jesus for what you put me through because in my trials and troubles you have made me a caring husband, a person who knows how to listen when people are hurting, loving myself, loving others, sharing with others, having empathy with others. Thank you Lord for keeping me from relationships that would have had dire consequences (having a child out of wedlock, not knowing how to treat a woman because of my hardships coming up). Thank you for not answering all my prayers God. Thank you. :-)
I am not boasting that I'm better than anyone, this is just a part of me sharing my story with people who do not understand why our Lord and Savior has us go through months or even years of torment, abuse, neglect. I love the Lord with all my heart and soul and that will never change. What He put me through has made me the man/husband/person that I am today.
Hang in there people, God REALLY and TRULY loves you.
Have a Blessed, Fun and Joyful weekend.
"Father, I pray that my children would be kind to each other and to everyone else."
other devotions for today: Champions: Peter, Careless Preachers, Insight for Living
tech news for you today: Why Internet Explorer 7 Will Break the Web, cool tech coming this fall, Is Windows Near End of Its Run?
netcast for wisdom & knowledge: Thru the Bible Questions & Answers, Windows Weekly with Paul Thurrott, The Alternative, NPR: Books
Headline News:
BUFFALO — Tree limbs filled with autumn colors lay broken on a carpet of white. Kids got to throw snowballs nearly three weeks before they go trick-or-treating. Boats on Lake Erie were encrusted in ice a day before many people in the area had planned to go picking pumpkins and apples.>>>more
WASHINGTON – Rep. Mike Fitzpatrick (R) of Pennsylvania once looked like a top-tier target for Democrats in their drive to take over the House. He's a freshman, which in a typical election year would make him more vulnerable to defeat than longer-serving members. And his district, north of Philadelphia, has an increasingly Democratic tilt to it.>>>more
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