Handling Criticism Wisely>>>more
from In Touch Ministries

This past Wednesday I posted a link to Dr. Charles Stanley's devotion on "Handling Criticism Unwisely", this devotion he describes how to handle criticism. Everything Dr. Stanley describes has been a work in progress for me. I have always been very sensitive because of my upbringing, how I was treated when I was young, the things I had to encounter. When I was young I thought it was cruel what I had to encounter but in fact those hurdles I endured God has made me a instrument to help others the best way I know how today.

God has taught me and continues to teach me when a conflict comes up how to not be so defensive, listen, and ask Him for guidance while in the middle of the situation at hand. He are some things I like to share with you.

1. When someone is being critical...listen. This will give you time to collect your thoughts, ask the Lord for guidance because when they are trying to speak and you're trying to speak many times the situation gets escalated and both people end up saying things there will regret.
2. Keep your voice down, keep it low. I have learned over the years when you speak low and slow, your thoughts are clearer, your words, your speech will come out much better and believe it our not many times it catches the other person off guard because in their minds they know your coming back at them the same way as they came at you.
3. Always ask the Lord what to say. Going back to number one, I have learned that listening and allowing the other person to finish there gripe because this gives you the chance to receive guidance from our Father, it gives you and I time to chose our words very wisely because one word, the tone in our voice can make a world of difference.
4. Reflect on yourself. This is a process that takes a while to master because as Dr. Stanley says, we really have to ask ourselves is there truth to what this person is saying to me. I have come to realize that when I am truly honest with myself I am less defensive when I am being criticized.
   
5. Stick to the subject at hand. This is one of my biggest, BIGGEST pet peeves. I don't know how many times when in a debate, receiving criticism or being critical how people either try to blame someone else, give an excuse why they did it...if I am wrong I am wrong, period.
6. Give them your undivided attention no matter how big or small the problem may be. Sometimes it's hard to do because let's face it, sometimes someone critical on a constant basis is...well...petty. But it's big to them and it's important to them to voice their opinion.

Now going back to what I said Wednesday, this does not mean that the person is always right and it does not mean that we suppose to be doormats, let me make that clear. If they are talking to you in a very disrespectful way, wait until they have aired their gripe, pull them to the side and let them know you understand they're upset and you appreciate what they have said but that does NOT give them the right to speak down to you, talk to you like child, or use profanity toward you. One thing I have learned over the years about myself, by me being God's child, I am royalty and that means I will treat people with the utmost respect and I will receive respect as well.

By allowing myself to be used by God I have learned I can work with someone that I know I will never be friends with, get invited over to their home for a "get together" (I'm being real here because we work with some people we do not care for and we know they do not like us) and I have had to come out and say to someone, "I know we do not get along, we do not have talk with one another, but I can work with you because this is a business and I will only come to you when it's work related and I will respect you as a person and I expect the same courtesy". Because the bottom is we are human, we are going to make mistakes, we are never going to please everybody we come into contact with at work, on the street or even in our home. We have to learn how to receive criticism, give criticism in a constructive way because that is how we learn.

Be Blessed, Be Safe, & have great weekend.

DarrenKeith~

Praying For Our Children
from Christian Embassy Church

Responsibility

"Lord grant my children would learn ot be responsible, for each other should carry is own load".

Galatians 6:5

other devotions: Champions: Dorcas, Adjust Your Conscience, Obeying God

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