Life’s Storm-Tossed Sea>>>more
devotion from rbc ministries
Do you worry? Do I worry? Yes I do God's know our heart so their is no need of me putting on a front. Do I worry as much a I used to...no. This is because the more you lean on, just in and live by God's principles and commands you sleep much better.
When I used to live outside the will of God I found myself living by the way I wanted to live, spending money knowing that money was needed elsewhere, saying things I know I would live to regret or making promises I know I could not keep. Giving things away I know that I would need down the road. Then would get upset with God because He did not come through for me. Pleading for a miracle when knowing deep down it would not come to pass because of the way I was living. I hit rock bottom in latter part of 1997. I was living with a woman I was not married to and I knew she and i fell out of love with one another. I knew deep down she wasn't the one for me and I wasn't the man for her but wasn't man enough to tell her. We dated off and on for 7 years, living together off and on but we both knew it wasn't going anywhere. I was afraid of being alone, I was behind close to 3 months in the rent(I was trying to take care of everything on the meager salary I had, trying to be a man but was a scared little boy inside) and everything was spinning out of control.
I told her I didn't want to marry her because I knew I wasn't the man for her and she wasn't the woman for me. She was furious because she felt I wasted her time(and by right I did...we broke up, we made up, we broke up...that should have been a hint to me, right?). She moved out and I was stuck with everything. The meager job I had I just lost, the car I had...repossessed, me and mother was and never have had a great relationship and I was determined not to move back home to Madison, Illinois because it was more depressing there and I fought so hard to get away from there. Was I worried, every night and day.
But then I cried out to God...not for a miracle, this time it was different. I was tired of living the way I was living. I remember praying to God, "If I find someone good, if I don't, that's okay as well. I know I'm not living right and I'm tired of trying to do things my way. I'm tired of running and going around in circles". A big weight was lifted from me that night. Did someone with a big check come and wipe out my back rent and give me a brand new car? That would be great wouldn't it but no it did not happen that way.
I called my landlord(I prayed before I spoke with him) asked Him could he work with me. Told him my situation and God had mercy upon me because he had every right to evict me from his property but God touched his heart to give me a chance to work through this ordeal I put myself in...yes I put myself in because I could not blame no one but myself. I applied for a hotel job in December of 1997, received a call in early January 1998( I had the 3rd shift). I caught the bus but God shined down upon me again because the bus dropped me off in front of the hotel where I worked so I only had to catch one bus...left that job in a month to work as a contracted security guard at a large company, worked there for two years where I met my wife (a year and a half later we married). She had been there around the same time but we never noticed one another. I was living one day at a time. Some days were good, some were bad but one thing was different, I worried less because this time I was in partnership with my Lord and Savior. Did I slip up from time to time...yes because I'm human but God had my back so the bouncing back was much quicker for me because I was learning from my mistakes.
I'm been married for 6 years now and there are rough patches we go through from time to time but this time I am better prepared, a much better communicator, and much stronger in the Lord. I know that by doing His will, being in covenant with Him because He will not do everything for me because God is not my bellhop. I try to live according to His Word each and everyday. I sleep better now, because I know with Him, I would not be here sharing this with you today. This is my way of sharing how God has turned things around in my life and how He can change your life as well. One thing I come to realize, the same way I dug myself in that "hole" is the same way I got out that hole...one day at a time and by allowing God to lead and direct my steps and I had a inner peace I can not describe.Be Blessed, Be Safe, & Have a Great Productive Day.
"Lord, help my children to show proper respect to everyone, as your Word commands ".
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